


safety pin my heart

by CalumSmiles (dreamforlife)



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Grief, Heartbreak, Love, M/M, Sadness, Some Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-19
Updated: 2015-08-19
Packaged: 2018-04-15 15:12:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4611438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamforlife/pseuds/CalumSmiles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And the tears come streaming down your face<br/>When you lose something you can't replace<br/>When you love someone, but it goes to waste<br/>Could it be worse?</p><p>Lights will guide you home<br/>And ignite your bones<br/>I will try to fix you</p><p>~</p><p>Or, Luke is drowning in memories and Michael comes back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	safety pin my heart

**Author's Note:**

> OKAY, so, this is not the best thing I've ever written but it all started when I saw Michael's Apple watch and then yelled at my best friend about what would happen if Luke had one too and they could send their heartbeat to each other. THEN, of course, traitorous as my brain is, it was like "oh what would have happened if they had Apple watches back when Michael was stuck in the US without his passport?" and the moment I opened a word doc I KNEW it wasn't gonna be good...and this is none of these things that I just talked about...yeah...
> 
> All I know is that I blurted this out within half an hour and I'm blindly posting it. So *rubs neck sheepishly* I apologise in advance ha ha ha
> 
> I feel like enjoy wouldn't be the right word, so please read heheh...

“I miss you,” Luke whispers into the darkness of his room, staring as the curtains flutter in the breeze, staring through the open window to the expanse of stars that shine like the sparkle in Michael’s eyes, “I miss you.”

It’s been thirty four days since Michael had disappeared, thirty four days since the light plane had gone down over the Indian Ocean near South Africa, thirty four days since the call had come to Jack’s phone, thirty four days since—

Luke digs his palms into his eyes as the tears leak out, heart aching behind his breastbone with the haunting pain of loss that’s becoming an open wound carved out by the burning knife of grief and memory. Michael’s laughter rings in his ears and his cries trip out, strangled and heavy, the sound ripped from his throat like he’s dying, unable to stop the tears dripping down his cheeks.

_“No.” Michael scowls, sliding his shades back up his nose and turning his attention to the phone in his hands. “I don’t do sunshine.”_

_“C’mon, oh my god, it’s so nice outside.” Luke pushes the phone out of his hands, straddling his hips, and leans down, grinning as their noses brush. He pulls off Michael’s sunglasses. “I’ll make it up to you.”_

_When Michael surges up for a kiss, Luke pulls away with a wink and grinds down with a cheeky bite to his lip. “Come outside.”_

_“No, fuck you,” the red-haired boy yank him down by the shoulders and pulls him into a bruising kiss, laughing as Luke whines. “Stay here,” Michael murmurs, sucking on his earlobe, “More fun.”_

_Luke sighs, arching his neck to give him more access, “I love you.”_

_Michael freezes, his lip pressed over Luke’s pulse, feeling the steady thump of his heartbeat. “What?”_

_“I love you,” Luke says clearly this time and grins, pressing a chaste kiss to Michael’s lips, “Kind of a lot.”_

_“Yeah?”_

_“Yeah.”_

_Michael smiles and Luke can see the world reflected in the gleaming green of his eyes and knows there’s nowhere else he’d rather be than here, on this boat anchored off the Maldives with this boy by his side._

Luke wonders, distantly through the shuddering ache in his chest, whether people die of heartbreak.

He turns, watching the sky through blurry eyes, remembering a time when they two of them had first kissed, under a cloudless, star-lit midnight sky in the middle of the Indian Ocean, the endless hush of the ocean and glowing plankton the only witness to their moment alone.

“ _LEWI!”_

The door to his room slams open, the handle crashing into the wall, Ben’s voice startling Luke and he wipes his eyes, swallowing past the rock in his throat.

Ben’s tackling him into a hug in a mess of hysterical babbled words and half sobs, half laughter as soon as he gets out of bed. Luke stumbles, barely managing to save them both from tumbling to the floor, and holds his oldest brother.

“ _Ben?”_ He exclaims, trying to sort through the mess of words spewing from his brother’s mouth, “Ben, slow down, I can’t—”

“He’s alive.”

Luke’s head snaps to Jack standing in the doorway, face drawn and pale like he’d seen a ghost. He steps in, stumbles in, arms crossing over his chest loosely. When he catches Luke’s eyes, there are tears gleaming along his lashes and his voice breaks.

“ _He’s alive,_ Lewi. Mikey’s _alive._ ”

His blood turns to ice. He lets Ben go, knees giving out as he falls onto the bed. Nothing registers as his brothers’ movements turn into shadows as they drop onto his sides, pulling him into a hug, jostling him between them. He feels nothing. Sounds turn into a ringing silence and a faded echo of Michael’s giggling laughter rings between his ears.

_He’s alive._

Hot tears fill his eyes and his fingers suddenly find purchase on his shorts, and his shoulder curl as giant sobs wrack through his shoulders, his heart breaking, shattering as the words resound in his ears like a temple gong.

_He’s alive._

 

*

 

The explanation flies over his head, there isn’t much else he cares about. Michael is alive.

The three of them are at the hospital, waiting, _waiting_ in the hallways outside the ward rooms, for a word, a sign, any goddamn thing to tell them Michael is okay.

Luke hasn’t spoken since they’d all rushed out of the house at two in the morning and even then all he had said was _fine._

“Boys.”

He’s on his feet, heart hammering in his chest, as the nurse smiles.

“You can see him now.”

Luke is after the nurse before Jack and Ben can move, breathing shallow, gut churning and he’s almost sure he’s about to vomit everywhere the moment he sees Michael’s face.

“It’s okay, son,” the nurse squeezes his shoulder as they pause outside a door, “he’s okay.”

He gasps in a breath, holding it and stepping across the threshold.

Tears pool in his eyes as his eyes fall on the faded red hair and the pale skin, sliding down the curve of his cheeks and dripping off the end of his nose, and a wrecked sound erupts out of him when Michael looks up and _smiles._ Luke stops, hands pressed over his mouth, shaking as sobs shake through him, throat sore, heart aching when Michael’s beautiful green eyes fill with his own tears and he extends a hand.

Luke is across the room and pulling Michael into a hug before he can breathe, breaking down as he tucks his face in Michael’s neck, hugging his warm body to his chest.

“ _Fuck,_ Luke.” Michael’s voice shakes, his lips pressed to his ear, “ _Fuck,_ I’m sorry, I—”

“Shut up, god, just shut up,” Luke groans through the tears, leaning back, “You were dead, Mikey, you—”

Wet lips press hard against his, pushing, slotting between his own and Luke tangles his fingers in Michael’s hair, kissing back like he’s trying to prove his boy is alive. His hand move to Michael’s jaw and down to cup his neck and the taste of them tears mix of his tongue as he licks into Michael’s mouth.

“I love you,” he gasps as they part with a slick, breathless sound, “I love you, Michael, god—”

Michael pants against his mouth, fingers tight in Luke’s hair, foreheads pressed hard together. “Me too. Fuck, Luke, I love you. Three weeks on cargo ship and I missed you more than the months I spent away from you for uni, I—never, not again, marry me, Luke—”

“—Yes,” Luke kisses him, almost hysterical laughter bubbling in his chest, “Yes, fuck, I’ll fucking marry you—”

“—marry me—”

“—Michael,” he pulls back, staring into bright, watery green eyes, “ _Yes.”_

 

*

 

“I love you,” Luke whispers in the darkness of his room, staring at the moon reflected in Michael’s eyes as they stand, cuddled together by the window.  The star are endless across the dark blue expanse of the sky but Luke can only see the stars in Michael’s eyes, his entire world shining in the deep sea green of the eyes that crinkle back at him. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Michael whispers, nosing the dimple in Luke’s cheek, “So much.”

Luke smiles and cups his jaw, leaning in for a kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> WELL hopefully that wasn't completely awful and terrible and I made anyone who read this hate me hahah...
> 
> Thanks for reading if you did, PLEASE comment your thoughts, much appreciated ^_^
> 
> My tumblr is aneverendingreplay ^_^ Come say hi!


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